ER Volunteering

Having spent the last six weeks volunteering at the UCSF Emergency Department for four hours every Wednesday night, I figured that I would chronicle some of my experiences. I figure that because I am supposed to be learning from this experience I should make note of the things that strike me as important, fascinating, or otherwise interesting. When it comes time for medical school applications, looking back on my posts will give me food for thought.

Being an ED volunteer means that I get to assist what the hospital calls "PCA's," or Patient Care Assistants, with their tasks. This means doing a whole lot random things including re-folding linens, cleaning rooms, feeding patients, getting blood from the blood bank, running to material services for random items, talking to patients, and pretty much anything and everything else that is asked of me. Quite honestly, I don't enjoy doing most of these tasks but I know that I am really helping out the two PCAs. Also, running up and down the stairs and around random floors of the hospital keeps me moving and I get to see lots of different areas of the hospital that I otherwise wouldn't be able to see. And I have to say, going to the blood bank still wierds me out a little bit. I mean, they essentially give you a packet of half frozen blood in a red bag. Something about half frozen blood wierds me out. Blood is supposed to be warm and oozing, not freezing. It's not that the blood itself makes me unnerved, its the sterility and coldness of those little packets...

There are many things which make being in the ED very interesting, not least of which is getting to see all the different types of patients that come in with a whole host of problems. I'm not gonna lie when I say that there is something really neat about getting to see people's wounds and ailments and how they handle themselves when they are in pain. It really is an exercise in social observation. For example, last night a young man (who was really attractive I might add) came in with a completely dislocated ankle. And by completely dislocated, I mean his foot was pointing perpendicularly to his tibia instead of straight forward! Ouch! I got to watch two Doctors inject him with not one, but TWO huge vials of local anesthetic before they proceeded to literally yank his foot back into place. Now, for me, this was crazy cool because I had never seen a bone being "popped" back into place. The room became really tense before they the "popping" action because they knew how painful this would be for the poor soccer player. He braced himself for the pain and then grinned and bared it whilst the bones were re-set. Absolutely amazing. The patient was such a strong individual. Props to him and his Doctors. So, yeah.

Two weeks before that I got to watch CT scans being performed on two separate patients, one of which was being tested for stroke. The actual machine is really menacing becuase you are lying on a "bed" with your upper body and head surrounding by a huge spinning, whirring disk. And you have to stay absolutely still. The amazing part, however, were the pictures that the CT scan generated. You could see the inside of the body and brain really well, along with all of the major arteries and organs. Having taken anatomy the semester before made these images that much more poignant because I know what they really look like on the inside of the body. The CT scan technician pointed out landmarks like the Circle of Willis and the carotid arteries to me, and was surprised that I actually knew where they were. I really enjoyed being able to use that knowledge in "real life" and I can't wait to grow my knowledge base about the human body.

Overall, volunteering in the ED has been a really positive experience thus far. No, the UCSF ED is not a trauma ED so I don't get to see lots of gun shot wounds or women in labor, but this is a nice start. I'm learning the ropes and it feels really good to be in and around those actually practicing medicine, helping them out in the small ways that I can. Who knows, maybe I'll find a way to work in the SFGH ED where the real fun happens ;)

And Life Goes On...

So, a lot of things have happened since the last time I wrote a blog about my life, some good, some bad, but I am slowly learning to accept and embrace the new state of affairs. To quickly summarize, Zac and I are no longer dating or living together. I have since reluctantly moved back home to my mother's house and am learning to share the space with her. This has been an incredibly difficult undertaking and I hope that with time we learn to work together in a way that will not drive either of us crazy. It looks like I am going to be here for the foreseable so this task must become a priority for me. Other than that, I am taking summer school, making new friends, and adjusting to life as a single person. I turn 26 in a few months and am looking forward to the new "year." I am very slowly coming into myself and I am looking forward to what the future will bring.

Perhaps it takes monumental changes in life for us to slow down and re-evaluate ourselves and our place within the world, but I feel like the past three months have taught me some lessons that I could never have learned within the context of my "old" life with Zac. I am still trying to piece together the fragments of insights that occur every once in a while, but I know that slowly but surely I am figuring out who I am and what I want to do when I grow up, which is very exciting.

I believe that we are sent messages from time to time, be it through dreams, people, or other random occurances, about where we are at in life and whether or not we are on the right path. I have learned to listen to these gifts from above and trust that my instincts are correct. For instance, yesterday I was at UCSF to volunteer at the ED. Prior to my shift, I felt like I should go to Panda Express for terrible, greasy Chinese food even though I wasn't particularly hungry. I figured that the craving I was having was for salt or warm food. Anyway, I always read my fortunes in the fortune cookies. Lo and behold, the fortune read, "You are moving in the right direction. " Awesome! How cool is that?!? I'm sitting in the middle of the UCSF cafeteria about to volunteer, the night before a physics exam, and I receive this lovely little piece of life-affirmation. I was so excited to get that fortune and I truly felt that whoever sent it to me knew that that was what I needed to hear at the time. So, I guess I really am moving in the right direction. I trust that I will continue to make the correct decisions and turn my life around.

Required Volunteering

As every pre-medical student knows, one of the important components in the formula to getting into medical school is volunteering. It is preferred that this volunteering be of the clinical variety, exposing volunteers to direct patient interaction and those providers that give the health care. In my quest for medical school admission, I have decided to succumb to what I call the "formula" and have started volunteering for two great locations: Lyon Martin Health Services and the UCSF Emergency Department.

I've been at Lyon Martin now for five weeks and it has been a fantastic experience thus far. All of the staff and health care providers are great people and they are always willing to answer any questions, however petty, that I may have. As a Volunteer Clinical Assistant, my duties will ultimately include rooming patients, taking histories, room-cleaning, and other patient-centered activities. Right now, I spend most of my time filing stacks of charts and assisting the front desk with whatever tasks they need help with. This is not nearly as interesting as rooming patients, but it is valuable in teaching me how the clinic operates and getting me familiar with the kinds of patients that we see.

Lyon Martin is a women's clinic that focuses on LGBT and transgender medicine. I know. What is this straight as an arrow person doing at this clinic? Hah. I ask myself that sometimes too. I am very passionate about ensuring that everyone has access to adequate health care, no matter what their background or status in life may be. Yes, 1/3 of the patients are transgender, but this is because we provide great care and treat all patients as equal. Especially in that community, this is not the norm. Many transgender individuals have nerve-wracking and biased health care experiences and they often choose to forgo basic care due to the discrimination that they may face. So, why am I dedicating my time to this clinic? Because I first and foremost care about people and I want to be part of a clinic that cares about people as well.

In addition to my service at Lyon Martin, I have also decided to volunteer at UCSF in the Emergency Department. I have not started yet, but I just attended the ED orientation last night. Let me tell you, this is going to be an entirely different experience from that at Lyon Martin. The UCSF ED is not like the ED at SFGH. There is not usually a lot of trauma or low-income patients, comparatively. To me, it doesn't matter. I want to learn about how treatment is done in a hospital environment and I figured that the UCSF ED would be a good place to start.

Now, after last night's orientation I must admit that I am quite nervous. There are so many things to remember, the least of which is trying not to bring any lawsuits upon the ED. LEAST OF WHICH!!! Sure, I am not going to be diagnosing or treating patients in any way, but I am going to be speaking with them and ensuring that they as comfortable as they can be. I know it is going to take me a while to figure out what exactly is my responsibility and what I can and cannot do; I just hope that people are understanding with me and help to guide me in the right direction. My next step is to set up a time to shadow another volunteer. This will hopefully get done next week. And then, I'll be on my own ;)

Yes, clinical experience is critical to understanding how health care is provided and to figure out whether being a health care provider is truly the right career path for me. So far, I have absolutely loved my volunteer experiences and I look forward to continuing to learn and contribute as much as I can. Lyon Martin and UCSF are two completely different environments and I specifically wanted it this way. Hopefully by the time I **get in** to medical school I will have a firm understanding of whether I want to work in a hospital or a small clinic and what kinds of patients I am most comfortable interacting with. Now I just have to sit back, relax, and let the fun continue...

Spa Day

I have spent the last five days in Poipu Beach on Kauai. I have had a fantabulous time so far and I can't believe that three days from now I have to head back home to Berkeley. Anyway, today I awoke around 9:30 am to a completely empty house, except for Zac, of course. He needed to get some work done so we ended up leaving the house around 10:40 am for what we thought would be breakfast burritos at Brennecke's Deli. We got to Brennecke's only to find out that they stopped serving breakfast at 10 am, so we walked back to the condo and made our own breakfast.

Around 11:40 we hear the door open and Jason called out to us stating that they were leaving for the farmer's market RIGHT NOW. So, Zac and I reluctantly got up and piled into the car to head over to Kolo'a for another farmer's market. Now, we were already not so enthusiastic about having had left so quickly, but when we got there we realized that neither one of us actually had cash on us. This made purchasing fruit quite difficult, i.e., impossible. So, this fact, in combination with the hourdes of tourists, led Zac and I to wander away to a picnic table in a shack by a nearby playing field. We sat, sweated, and chatted about how the trip has been so much fun thus far. About 20 minutes later, the rest of the family found us and we all piled back into the rental van with the newly acquired papayas, rambutans, star fruit, pineapples, and various veggies.

We decided to stop for lunch a the Koloa Fish Market where we picked up an assortment of tuna, lau lau pork, and kahlua pork platters. We then stopped at Brennecke's Beach to consume all of the delicious food. At 1:15 pm, the women drove back to the condo to prepare for the spa day ahead. Really, all we did was take a few moments to pee. Then, we were off to Anara Spa at the Hyatt.

The Hyatt here on Kauai is absolutely gorgeous. Right when you walk in, you walk into a luscious, green, plant-filled courtyard, opening out right on to the beach. We were escorted to the spa which was off in the back of the hotel. We checked in and were given the grand tour of the facilities, which included beautiful lava rock showers and a variety of saunas, steam rooms, and jacuzzis. Absolutely gorgeous. I then met my masseuse, Leilani, an over-makeuped white lady, and was off to begin the spa day. I had never had a massage before so I told her to explain to me what exactly I had to do. I was already naked under my bath robe and she told me to lay face down on the table, and to take off all of my jewelry. I did as I was told and she began the full body Anara massage.

She started on my back, which is what I expected. I did not expect, however, that she would move the towel to basically expose my upper buttocks and that she would actually massage my butt. Very odd, but it did feel great. She also used her forearms and elbows, which was also new to me. She discovered that my upper back had lots of "gristle" in the muscle, as she called it, and that the knots were from stress and the way that I carry myself. She joked that I need to get more massage treatments to work those knots out. Right, cause I have so much money to pay for massage. Anyway, she worked on the rest of my body and all was well. It was a great first massage. I will definitely try to get massages on a more frequent basis after this experience. We'll see. After the massage I got a great 50 minute pedicure which started out with a foot soak in delicious smelling mango lime water. The pedicure was awesome and my toes are now a fun bright red, orange color ;) Overall, I think my first spa experience was really fun, but I don't think that I would have done if it I hadn't been treated to the experience. I don't think I could justify paying those prices....

When we all got back to the cabin, the men were waiting for us and Zac said that he loved my feet and that they looked happy. I was happy that he noticed my feet. Yeah for observant boyfriends!

We all had a fantastic dinner of grilled ahi tuna, sauteed fiddlehead ferns and bok choy, and Lappert's ice cream. Oh how I love Kauai.

Anyway, tomorrow we head for the Na Pali coast to go hiking and swimming in Ke'e Beach. I'm very excited and definitely don't want this trip to end.

Off Off and Away...To Kauai ;)

So after a week back in the beautiful Bay Area, Zac and I are off again to the sunny and gorgeous Kauai Island in Hawaii. I find it somewhat interesting that we are going from the freezing cold and snowy Montana to warm and sunny Hawaii in a span of a week. I consider myself extremely lucky but I hope that my poor body will not be sent into some temperature change induced shock.

I am faced with the task today of having exactly 4 hours before I need to leave for work, and of course, having way too much to do. My plants need to be re-potted, the bank needs to be contacted, laundry needs to get done, shower, needs to be taken, and somehow I am supposed to get packed as well. Don't you love the stress that always inevitably comes with leaving for a trip? It would be wonderful if I could just snap my fingers and have it all be finished. Voila! But alas, it will never be so. Sigh. So here I am, procrastinating at the computer, pretending to myself that this is a crucial pre-departure activity. What I really want to be doing, however, is playing World of Warcraft.

That darn game has literally consumed most of my school break free time. I absolutely love it. Getting lost in a fantasy world with my fellow fantasy friends is just about the best thing I can think of to relax and unwind. (Except going to the gym of course, more later). Last night at Starbucks, while re-stocking cups, I saw a beautiful, gorgeous man sitting in the corner on his laptop and lo and behold, he was playing WoW!! I watched him play from afar for a few minutes before realizing that I was not so much interested in him, but that I was more interested in his character and what he was doing, questing or PvPing...sad but true. I found an excuse to talk to him for a few minutes about how his realm was always full and whenever he tried to log in he was #800 on the waitlist or so...yes #800!!! I think we were both a little embarrased to admit that we were WoW die hards and the conversation quickly waned. I let him back to his game and sadly returned to cleaning coffee grounds and making lattes. Secretely, however, I really wanted to be questing with my level 31 rogue on her new silver tiger mount. Oh yes I did.

After work I decided to head to the gym for some post-caffeine calorie burning. It was a very sad realization recently that prompted this late-night gym need. In looking at pictures from a year and a half ago and stepping on the scale, I realized that I have gained a good 50 pounds during the last 2 years. Oh my God! How could it be?!? But it is true. So now, I have to get my large ass back on the treadmill to walk, run, cry, and burn away all those pesky pounds. No more eating what Zac eats all the time. Lesson learned. Those of us with the metabolisms of snales cannot, repeat CANNOT, eat the same as those with the metabolisms of gazelles. Arg. I am doomed to a life of salad and soup....smile though. I need to smile.

So yes, tomorrow we leave for Kauai, the land of sun, warm sandy beaches, and scantily clad honeymooners. I, however, will be avoiding bearing my flab at all costs and will be attempting to snorkel in some combination of bikini top, tank top, and surf shorts. Oh well. That's what I get for those damn 50 pounds. Nevertheless, I am ridiculously excited to go and enjoy myself before school starts again. Hopefully I won't get stung by a jellyfish or eaten by a shark...

Missoula, Montana

So, I am finally awake and rejuvenated after the crazy semester. I've been here in Missoula, Montana for the past several days celebrating the holidays with Zac and his family. Every single member of his family has been truly welcoming, loving, and all-around wonderful.

Today, Zac and I decided to brave the weather and go skiing at Snow Bowl, about 20 minutes outside of Missoula. When we left it was around 40 degrees and raining, but when we got the resort it was 20 degrees and snowing! Arg...lets just say it did not make for a great skiing day. The bad weather, combined with my painful ski boots and foggy glasses made for a miserable experience. I did one run, which was the longest run in the place, 3 miles, and was done. Finito. I left Zac for the lodge while he went and skied. About 30 minutes later, whilst I was warming myself at their far too small fire, Zac came in saying that the conditions over the top were really bad and that he wanted to go home too. So much for a ski day....

Ramblings

So here I am, late at night, thinking about the events of the day and feeling overall quite satisfied with myself. Well, sort of. I woke up early this morning to finish studying for my Biological Anthropology final and then proceeded to Starbucks for my morning Grande with whip latte. I walked out of the store and took one sip and realized that I had forgotten to put sugar in the darn drink. Blech! I promptly returned and put three sugar in the raws into the coffee deliciousness and was on my way....I somehow managed to study all the way to my final...though there were definitely things that I wish I had studied more. Oh well....I took the final (which was actually pretty easy) and went back to Berkeley.

Now, finals are supposed to be stressful. I realize this. But, isn't there something a tad bit wrong with the fact that everyone else and their mothers are done and I am not? In what sort of sick and twisted world does a lowly pre-med end up with BOTH her calculus and biology finals on the LAST day of finals, two days before Christmas, mind you. Oh right. Did I mention pre-med? It's not as though our schedules are already crazy enough. They now want us to be in school until the absolute last milli-second that they can. Oh how I am frustrated. I want nothing more than to be done. This little frustration, of course, has prevented me from actually being able to open my book to study for either of the two tests. I am too busy thinking about the day after, when I will be happily on my way to Montana.

That's right! I will be going with Zac to Montana. After a terrible week of agonizing about how to heck to come up with a plane ticket, I reluctantly called my father and explained to him the situation amidst copious sobs and tears and feeling sorry for myself. Given his less than stellar financial situation he lovingly said that he wasn't sure that he could help but that he would try to figure something out because he knew how important this was to me. We said our goodbyes and not 20 minutes later did I get a phone call saying that "yes" he would pay for my ticket. Woo hoo! I felt so relieved, overjoyed , excited, ecstatic, grateful, loving, etc, etc. I love my father so much but I know that he had to put the ticket on his credit card, probably maxing it out, making me feel absolutely terrible about that. When I was younger and we had money, being "Daddy's Little Girl" was so much better. I didn't feel too bad about getting my way...Now, though, I really just feel like shit about it on the one hand...I guess old habits die hard. Perhaps I will never grow out of hoping that my dad can bail me out.

So, yeah. I'm going to Montana. I've never been there so I have no clue what it is going to be like. All I know is that it is going to be freakin' cold. Really cold. Like below freezing. I have never been in that kind of cold before. We'll see how it goes. Zac and I went to REI tonight to go get a replacement wetsuit for him and some snowshoes (which I suspect are part of my Xmas present that will also be taken to Montana). While he was browsing for all that stuff, I found a super comfy wooly/fleecy hat and some super long stripey/wooley Smartwool socks. I'm excited about them . Yeah for warm toes. I think I would honestly die if I had cold feet. Really.

We spent the rest of the day at his sister's house talking about life and the upcoming vacation to Hawaii (yay fun winter break) and what her children want for Hannukah. Fun times. We then proceeded to go to Elephant Bar for some yummy dinner. I had their mandarin/avocado/something salad and their seared tuna appetizer. Both were only so-so. What was absolutely delicious, however, was their strawberry cheesecake. Yum. I hadn't had cheesecake in forever so it truly was indulgent and delicious. Such a treat.

Back to my original point...I should be studying. In fact I should be freaking out and stressing about my two upcoming finals. But, for whatever reason, I am not. I am too busy enjoying the cold weather and pondering whether to purchase the blue/brown stripey socks or the red/brown stripey socks....