Friday, July 17, 2009

And Life Goes On...

So, a lot of things have happened since the last time I wrote a blog about my life, some good, some bad, but I am slowly learning to accept and embrace the new state of affairs. To quickly summarize, Zac and I are no longer dating or living together. I have since reluctantly moved back home to my mother's house and am learning to share the space with her. This has been an incredibly difficult undertaking and I hope that with time we learn to work together in a way that will not drive either of us crazy. It looks like I am going to be here for the foreseable so this task must become a priority for me. Other than that, I am taking summer school, making new friends, and adjusting to life as a single person. I turn 26 in a few months and am looking forward to the new "year." I am very slowly coming into myself and I am looking forward to what the future will bring.

Perhaps it takes monumental changes in life for us to slow down and re-evaluate ourselves and our place within the world, but I feel like the past three months have taught me some lessons that I could never have learned within the context of my "old" life with Zac. I am still trying to piece together the fragments of insights that occur every once in a while, but I know that slowly but surely I am figuring out who I am and what I want to do when I grow up, which is very exciting.

I believe that we are sent messages from time to time, be it through dreams, people, or other random occurances, about where we are at in life and whether or not we are on the right path. I have learned to listen to these gifts from above and trust that my instincts are correct. For instance, yesterday I was at UCSF to volunteer at the ED. Prior to my shift, I felt like I should go to Panda Express for terrible, greasy Chinese food even though I wasn't particularly hungry. I figured that the craving I was having was for salt or warm food. Anyway, I always read my fortunes in the fortune cookies. Lo and behold, the fortune read, "You are moving in the right direction. " Awesome! How cool is that?!? I'm sitting in the middle of the UCSF cafeteria about to volunteer, the night before a physics exam, and I receive this lovely little piece of life-affirmation. I was so excited to get that fortune and I truly felt that whoever sent it to me knew that that was what I needed to hear at the time. So, I guess I really am moving in the right direction. I trust that I will continue to make the correct decisions and turn my life around.